The Bushes.

Go way back.

There has been much brouhaha about what is wrong with Kansas.

But it ain't new.

Turns out there was fighting between abolitionists and pro-slavery folks in that area well before the civil war, and that, in fact, The Civil War may have never happened if it weren't for their hot tempers.

Evidently, there is animosity to this day 'tween Missouri and Kansas.

Athletic competitions between Kansas University and the University of Missouri are actually called "The Border War."

Or at least they used to be.

More from the guy who wrote "What's the Matter With Kansas?"

I while back I referred you to Patton Oswalt...

Here are a couple of other cats you should check out.

Bob Odenkirk & David Cross.
Bill Hicks.
Here's a little something from Steve Martin.

Speaking of cartoon nostalgia...

And for movies there is of course the IMDB.

And for fiction books the FictionDB.

And for TV.

And for Businesses.

And for Materials Safety Data Sheets.

And the Internet Public Library.

And for EVERYTHING ELSE ON THE BLOODY PLANET.

Go.

Old news to some, but this rearry is one of the best sites on the web.

Pink Framingo!

Engrish Joke:
Q) You know what Elvis called his summer home in Japan?
A) Glacerand.

Christians turn on Bush?

Ya like my title for the post?

Yeah, me too.

Anywho... If he starts alienating his religiosos, then it'll just be the war-mongering racist homophobic gun-toting misogynistic scandal-ridden fascist usurists who support him, what'll he be able to get done then?

I know I am gonna regret this, but...

...I have to come out and tell the world.

I have a prurient interest in Penelope Pitstop. Yes, that Penelope Pitstop. Started when I was about 7.

Maybe it's the soutern belle charms, the pink leather driving outfit, the strawberry blonde hair, or the fact she gets tied up. A lot. Like every episode. Like the guy trying to kill her (Sylvester Sneakly) was never actually trying to kill her, he was just simply obsessed with her being... well... gagged, bound and helpless. It would be hot, but Sneakly was voiced by Paul Lynde, and if that turns you on, then you're just fucked up.

She was still the cutest thing going in the Wacky Races, or the Laff-A-Lympics, and next to Josie and the Pussycats, probably the hottest thing going on at the Hanna Barbara studios at the time.

I just wonder what her neck looked like.

Thank god they're putting everything out on DVD these days. If my wife is reading this, then she knows what to get me for my birthday.

Thank god (again) I am not alone.

Fan art is so weird, but then again, so is the pro stuff. It was revamped in 2001, but looks more like Aeon Flux. Speaking of, you seen this?

Of course I've seen the new Star Wars flick.

I did mention I was a Star Wars geek, right?

Had a bunch of fun. ("Oh, wait, no. It appears Obi-Wan has reduced this enemy to a ballerina clothed in a tutu made of its own groinfire.")

I'll spare you all from yet another movie review, but I will say this:

You simply must see it in a non-air-conditioned theatre at 9:30 am with 300+ nerds in Jedi robes.

Phew, stinky. Hit me like a wave when I walked into theatre.

You could turn it into a weapon.

Now of course they didn't all have Jedi robes, but I did sit next to a 300lb+ guy who twitched every time something went boom.

Things go boom a lot in that movie.

I had a severe case of vertigo by the end of the Light Sabre dual between Anakin and Obi-Wan.

The whole aisle was shaking cause he was literally playing "air light saber" with himself during the action.

A gazillion people see the movie on opening day, and I gotta sit next to fucking Star Wars Kid.

And it did stink. Like old laundry. Ugh.

P.S. Don't take the children.

Whores. Sell-outs. Corporate shills.

Just not in this country.

Maybe they just thought no one would notice.

Some names you may recognize.

Kiefer Sutherland hawking energy bars?
Nicholas Cage stooging for a Pachinko machine manufacturer?
Sean Connery ho'ing for booze.
Eddie Murphy bending over for Celicas? (WAKATA!)
Arnold Schwarzwenegger selling... um... I have NO... FUCKING... IDEA.

I mean honestly, how much money do these guys need that they gotta go overseas and shill yogurt, or whatever.

I mean honestly, PACHINKO MACHINES?!?!

I have one in my rec room, but I sure AS HELL didn't buy IT or the BRAND I bought because Nicholas-fucking-Cage suggested I should.

Jeezus these people have no shame.

At least not in Japan.

Passion of the Subarus.

P.S. If you've ever seen Lost in Translation, you now know the back story for the shots that get taken at Connery during one of the Bill Murray's character's ad shoots.

"I'm the only one in this room, professional enough, that I know of, to carry this Glock .40"

BLAM!

Officer shoots himself in the leg.

During a lecture on gun safety.

Let's see... Something witty...

Apparently "professional" does not equate to "careful."

or

Cruel, cruel, irony, we beseech thee to make us chuckle.

or

Now I get it, guns don't kill people, misfiring unloaded Glock .40s in the hands of a trained professional only wound people.

or

Hmm, shot himself with the pistol, eh? Well, bust out that A-K and see what he does.

or

Oh, hell, that's enough, here's the backstory.

Damn, he tried to go on with the lecture too.

I think he should get a nomination for a Bad Mutha Fucka wallet.

So, you ever had "La Grippe?"

You probably did, you just didn't know it.

It's actually the flu.

Some other weird and obscure names for diseases:

CANINE MADNESS: Rabies

DYSPEPSIA: Acid indigestion

DROPSY OF THE BRAIN: Encephalitis

FALLING SICKNESS: Epilepsy

PUTRID FEVER: Diphtheria

SIMPLE SMILING JESUS: spinal meningitis

A while back I mentioned the best line from a comic book ever

I was wrong.

"If there is a God, and I ever meet him, I'm just going to kick him in the balls over and over."

Sometimes, I feel like that too.

The Freedom of Information Act

It's a great way to find out just what those crazies inside the beltway are doing with your tax money.

And just what you've always wanted... a FOIA request letter generator.

Me like.

Bill Moyers kicks ass.

A little young for Botox, aren't we?

DREW GOT A JOB!

It has actually inspired me to start blogging again.

Considering that I am an IT Professional, I have posted a fairly small amount of "geeky" links up here on the ol' blogerooney.

(Not really my fault actually, considering what techy types will sometimes get themselves in a tizzy about.)

Well, that is about to change.

So without further ado, geek links:

Snippets from IRC channels and such.
Hacking.
Coding.
News.
Blogging and more.

Places with their own lists.

I'm not about to forget about social issues tho'.

Apocrypha vs. Facts

Talking heads love apocrypha.

Always spurious, never detailed, claims/anecdotes/statistics that seem to just materialize out of nowhere.

Some...

a.) man
b.) company
c.) child

who/that...

a.) died from ___
b.) lost all his money to ___
c.) laid off all its workers when it couldn't stop the union

then...

a.) the government didn't help
b.) the government didn't help
c.) the government didn't help

of course this kind of thing...

a.) happens all the time
b.) can be proven by the following arbitrary statistic...
c.) COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!

NOT exactly scientific arguments generally.

I was watching the Daily Show the other day and some lady was condemning our public school system by invoking numerous anecdotes that sounded fairly ridiculous to me.

Something along the lines of how all the kids were being indoctrinated as pussies because they were being forced to hug like 90% of the time.

I could tell Jon smelled something fishy and he actually asked her how prevalent this kind of thing was.

She said "It happens all the time."

Uh-huh.

What he DIDN'T ask her, but he really could have, would be something akin to:

What was the name of ONE of these schools?
or
How many schools does this happen in?
or
So which is it? Every school makes every kid hug 90% of their classmates 100% of the time, or they hug 100% of classmates 90% of the time, or maybe 90% of the schools are all hugging all of the time while the other 10% have 0 hugging?

"It happens all the time."

You know what else happens "all the time"?
Virtually everything.

Does "all the time" mean "once a day", "once a week", "once a month", "once a year", "once a decade", "once a century", "once a milennia"?

Depends.

Let's examine the following truthful statements:

Dude, the Catholics pick a new Pope "all the time."
--Once every few years/decades.

Dude, a new flu virus shows up "all the time."
--About once a year.

Dude, Drew writes a new blog entry "all the time."
--Not very often at all actually.

Dude, ice ages happen "all the time."
--About every 10,000 years.

Dude, the Estate/Death tax takes a family farm when the Dad dies "all the time."
--This has never happened.

Dude, people live to be 100 years old "all the time."
--Approx. 70,000 people in the U.S. (about two one hundreths of a percent).

Dude, huge asteroids hit the earth and wipe out all life as we know it "all the time."
--Never. God created the heavens and the earth 8,000 years ago and put Dinosaurs here to test our faith.

Dude, politicians lie "all the time."
--Every microsecond of every moment since the beginning of time.

So, yeah.

Next time you watch the republican noise machine bouncing around some god awful statistic about how global warming isn't actually happening, or the economy is kicking ass, or we are winning the war on terror, or we have the best health care on the planet, or whatever; And then commences to "prove" his point with some piece of apocrypha, don't be afraid to call bullshit.

Brit Hume ain't gonna, but you certainly can.

Real live Apocrypha:

"555 of all the 625 glaciers under observation by the World Glacier Monitoring Service in Zurich, Switzerland, have been growing since 1980." Ergo: no global warming.

Get bonus points for finding my use of apocrypha in this post.

Best name for a blog ever. EVER.

Mary Kate and Ashley...

Now we've all known for the last few years that the hollywood celebrity scandal pachinko game that they were gonna end up playing was gonna dump 'em out somewhere between Paris Hilton, Robert Downey Jr., and Karen Carpenter, but it's still painful to watch.

You wanna side o' ribs wit dat?

Don't these girls have minders?

Oh, wait.

They probably do.

Same idiots who pick out their clothes, no doubt.

They probably told them they were too fat.

While they were scoring them crack.

Sheesh.

Oh and here is the list of foods that Pro-ana folks think are OK to eat.

Fruit-2-0-Plus
Diet V-8 Splash
Low-sodium Broth

That would be the All-Diarrhea diet aka "The Smoothie"

Where do I sign up?

Ironically, my wife eats almost nothing but smoothies when she diets. Huh. Go figure.

And yes, I realize it's been MONTHS since my last post.

And I come outta the gate with an entry about anorexia nervosa.

It's just that sometimes...

Sometimes...

I think about the Mary Kate and Ashley that could have been, ya know?

Oops...

Was that out loud?

Shit.