It's a mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad...

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Of course you knew I was a geek, right?

I mean after the Star Wars admission(s) and the geek links post and of course there's that weird Penelope Pitstop thing, so it should come as no surprise that I have at least a passing interest in comic books, right?

Here are a couple of observations...

1) Movies based on comic books almost invariably are inexcusably expensive to make and at least kind of blow chunks, regardless of box office receipts, as the average hollywood target audience has the artisitic sensibility of a bonobo ape (thought I'd forgotten about them did you?).
  • League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (Um, what the hell is going on?)
  • Fantastic Four (Turd burger)
  • The Hulk (Ang Lee is NO Stan Lee)
  • Batman II, III, IV (Gov Arnold plays an Evil-Genius?!?!)
  • The Punisher (straight to video, Dolph Lundgren, 'nuff said)
  • Daredevil (Ben "do I come off as gay to you?" Affleck)
  • Superman II (Kneel before Zod!), III, IV
  • Hellboy (Like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, except even more confusing)
  • Mystery Men (Ok, kinda funny and cute, and Greg Kinnear gets turned into a smoldering nothing, and Eddie Izzard is in it, and Pee Wee Herman is awesome in EVERYTHING... Aw hell, we'll let this one slide)

2) Live action TV Shows based on comic books, however, almost invariably are low budget, campy and surprisingly fun.
3) Every single one of the heroines in comic-dom looks like Dolly Parton in zero gravity, usually with some kind of exhibitionist/latex/spandex fetish. And sometimes... green skin.

4) MAN! Comic book fans are TOTAL PERVS! Do you have ANY idea what it's like trying to find four pictures of the She-Hulk on the internet where she ISN'T naked as a jaybird?!?! IT'S FUCKING HARD!

-ed. note: The above 2 sentences have the words "pictures," "She-Hulk," "naked," "fucking," and "hard." If that doesn't get traffic to the ol' blog-a-roonie, I don't know what will.


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